Reflections and Simple Things

I went for a solitary wander across the fields - such a relief to be alone. I didn't know how much I needed it until I felt it.

I need wide open spaces, woods, mountains, forests and seas. Not houses squeezed together, dual carriageways, electricity pylons, lorries, cars, supermarkets and too many people in small areas. I need space to squelch through mud and watch rabbits and buzzards up close. To wade through long wet grass and dandelions without worrying that other people will think I'm weird for wandering about alone (because here they do).

When you get a certain distance between yourself and all that twenty-first century living you can feel the difference, the freshness, the rightness. It is so awful what we have done. How stupid to take away our own freedom, and particularly to carry on doing it in the false sense that we actually enjoy how we live now. Reminds me of the African slaves in South America - slavery came to define who they were. Many of them had no desire to escape because they couldn't see that there was any other way. Although an awful way to live, there is a certain safety in slavery. Perhaps they weren't willing to give up the security that slavery gave them. It seems we are all slaves in a way - rich and poor alike. Servants to a way of life we have built ourselves.

Some simple things I am grateful for this week:

• A frog in the garden - taken up residence in our tiny birdbath - which is in fact an old cat litter tray filled with water. Fascinating to watch him trying to catch the bees. He has been named Tub-Bob-Fred the Frog!

• The wildflowers - the periwinkle, lady's smock, celandine, common sorrel, cowslips, red clover, germander speedwell, forget-me-not, red campion, herb Robert and wood sage growing on the commons. How beautiful they looked until the council came and mowed most of them down.

• Harvesting nettles and making nettle mushroom crumble from the The Hedgerow Handbook and nettle tea. There is a very good reason why nobody eats nettles even though they are edible, good for you and to be found everywhere - they taste vile!

• Glimpses of powder blue sky and the warmth of sun on your hair.

• First ever apple blossoms on the tree I planted two years ago - a perfect pink.

• Rows of seedlings - radish, beetroot, lettuce, rainbow chard and spinach.

• Blossom on the cherry tree.

• A thrush hopping about the lawn each morning - searching for worms and snails - and (I hope) slugs.

• Wrens in our old nesting box.

• That eerie yellow light when a blue sky sunset is threatened by dark storm clouds.

• The sound of heavy rain in the silence of the night.

• Pigeons cuddling together on the fence.

• Laughing with Jay.

• The feel of a light rain shower on my face.

• Emily sketching flowers in the garden, making daisy chains and drawing deer.

Earth Mother

Earth Mother - Watercolour Painting

The Earth Mother

COMETH a voice:—‘My children, hear; 

From the crowded street and the close-packed mart 

I call you back with my message clear, 

Back to my lap and my loving heart. 

Long have ye left me, journeying on 

By range and river and grassy plain, 

To the teeming towns where the rest have gone— 

Come back, come back to my arms again. 

‘So shall ye lose the foolish needs 

That gnaw your souls; and my touch shall serve 

To heal the ills that the city breeds, 

The pallid cheek and the fretted nerve. 

Treading the turf that ye once loved well, 

Instead of the stones of the city’s street, 

Ye shall hear nor din nor drunken yell, 

But the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. 

‘Yonder, beneath the smoke-smeared sky, 

A city of half a million souls 

That struggle and chaffer and strive and cry 

By a sullied river that seaward rolls. 

But here, blue range and full-filled creek, 

And the soil made glad by the welcome rain 

Waiting the plough. If peace ye seek, 

Come back, come back to my arms again. 

‘I that am old have seen long since 

Ruin of palaces made with hands 

For the soldier-king and the priest and prince 

Whose cities crumble in desert sands. 

But still the furrow in many a clime 

Yields softly under the ploughman’s feet; 

Still there is seeding and harvest time, 

And the wind still croons in the ripening wheat. 

‘Where is Persepolis? Ask the Wind 

That once the tresses of Thais kissed. 

A stone or two you may haply find 

Where Night and the Desert keep their tryst. 

But the broken goblet is cast away, 

And to seek for the lights that are lost is vain. 

The city passes; the green fields stay— 

Come back, come back to my arms again. 

‘The works of man are but little worth; 

For a time they stand, for a space endure; 

But turn once more to your mother—Earth, 

My gifts are gracious, my works are sure. 

Green shoot of herbage for growing herd, 

And blossoming promise of fruitage sweet, 

These shall not fail, if ye heed my word, 

Nor the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. 

‘Would ye fashion a nation, whole and true, 

Goodly-proportioned, sound at core? 

Then this, my sons, ye must surely do— 

Give city less, and country more. 

Would ye rear a race to hold this land 

From foemen steering across the main? 

Then, children, listen and understand— 

Come back, come back to my arms again. 

‘Your coastwise cities are passing fair— 

Jetty and warehouse and banking-hall, 

Tower and dome and statued square— 

But who is to guard when the blow shall fall? 

The men who can shoot and ride are found 

Not where the clerks and the shopmen meet, 

But out, where the reaper hears the sound 

Of the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. 

‘Ye know, who have long since left the loam 

For a city job in some crowded works, 

That sorrow abides in the straitened home, 

And Death in the stifling factory lurks. 

And some, who are out of a job, must sleep 

On a city bench in the driving rain. 

Of happier days are ye dreaming deep? 

Come back, come back to my arms again. 

‘There in the city, by jungle law, 

Each fights for his meat till set of sun. 

By the deadliest fang and the sharpest claw 

The right to the largest share is won. 

But here there is neither strife nor guile, 

The brazen robber nor smooth-tongued cheat. 

Your gold is safe—where the harvests smile, 

And the wind still croons in the ripening wheat. 

‘I mind me once, in a sunlit land, 

Lancer, Hussar, and fierce Uhlan 

Came galloping in on every hand, 

And poppied cornfields over-ran. 

And many a sabre was stoutly plied, 

And many a hero kissed the plain, 

And many a hero’s mother cried, 

“Come back, come back to my arms again!” 

‘But when no longer the trumpets pealed, 

And the stricken land was at rest once more, 

They found a peasant who sowed his field 

Nor knew that France had been at war. 

E’en so, instead of the strife and pain 

I give you peace, with its blessing sweet. 

Come back, come back to my arms again, 

For the wind still croons in the ripening wheat.’ 

 ~ Frank Dalby Davison

Around the Village

We have had many lovely sun-filled village walks over the last few weeks

Found a broken robin's egg

Watched the swallows playing high on the telegraph wires. 

Just look at that intense blue sky!  

The forsythia is a riot of springtime yellow

The cottages look so pretty this time of year

So many wildflowers exploding with colour right now... celandines

Grape hyacinth or Muscari

Aubretia trailing the old stone walls

And, of course, the dandelions

And daisies

If we're lucky we even get to see one of the baby lambs tottering about the field at Langley Chase farm.

Empathy

I read an article a couple of days ago that really got under my skin. The author was spouting forth a rant about the proliferation of consumerism. About how everything  ‘these days’ seems to be attached with a price tag, and how ‘people’ don’t appreciate the free things in life anymore. While I agreed with the overall anti-consumerist sentiment, his pompous delivery and attack on everyone except himself had me bristling with indignation. 

Later however, I began to realise how in judging what he had written and reacting in the way I did, I was judging him in just the way he had judged others. 

We all have different reasons for living the way we do and saying the things we say, much of it is unconscious, reactive and unexamined. I wondered what reasons there could be for a person to write in that way – perhaps it is a front for low self-esteem, or maybe there is an unrealised ambition to become a respected artist or even to just feel ‘heard’. I sensed vulnerability and began to see myself in him and in fact everyone – I felt empathy.

Why was he coming across so badly? Perhaps because he was not able to open his heart to empathise with others, to look at the reasons beneath the behaviour he had taken offence to.

‘For all rapport, the root of caring, stems from emotional attunement, from the capacity for empathy’.[1]

It is so prevalent in our society to express our opinions with words without examining the deeper issues. We cannot read the minds of others or know for certain how they are feeling but we can move beyond reactive thoughts to at least try to see the situation from their perspective. To try to see why they see the world as they do. This is easier in some cases than others. Few would find it easy to find empathy with a suicide bomber or child abuser, but no act comes separate from its context or past.

Empathy is shaped from childhood – your reactions with your children and with others will form blueprints to how they react themselves in similar circumstances. When something provokes a hostile or defensive reaction in us – it helps to look at the reasons  - usually it is not so much about the other person at all, but something that needs addressing in us. A fear perhaps that we will be judged similarly, that our flaws will be seen and us condemned for them, or annoyance that the world isn’t how we want it to be. Why should the world pander to our wants? If there is something we can do we would be wise to take action, not waste our time in criticising others.

We can increase the capacity for empathy in others as well as ourselves by providing relationships that are free from judgement. Relationships in which honesty is paramount and an action or words can be disagreed with, without condemning the person. Empathic listening is not easy:

‘It takes a great deal of security to go into a deep listening experience because you open yourself up to be influenced. You become vulnerable.’[2]

When we increase our capacity for empathy, we grow, we change, we mature and we also enable those changes to take place in others. Our personal relationships are our most frequent opportunity to practise empathy.

When it seems like my children constantly want the latest gadget or product, I find it very difficult to get past the sense of lack I felt in my own childhood, coupled with my growing need to stop buying unnecessary things. It is not just a matter of saying ‘yes, I suppose so’, or ‘absolutely not’. My tone of voice will speak volumes to them, irrespective of the words. I must listen to them, examine my reaction, and attempt to understand from their point of view. Ensure that they are ‘heard’. This way we can work together to find a mutually acceptable way forward.

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[1] Goleman, D. (1996) Emotional Intelligence, Bloomsbury Publishing, London

[2] Covey, S.R. (2004) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Shuster & Shuster, London

7 Day Vegan Challenge

I have been trying to find the way of eating that works for me and my body for a few years now. It seems I have developed a lot of intolerances to certain foods - that have been causing me various symptoms such as skin problems - itching, irritation and acne and nasal problems amongst others.

After over thirty years of being able to eat more or less whatever I liked - with no adverse reactions or serious weight problems - this is very frustrating to me (also I have become more sympathetic of other peoples allergies and sensitivities).

I was eating a vegetarian diet, but when I found that dairy products made my skin much worse, I cut them out. Trying to eat vegetarian without dairy just seemed too difficult. So I went back to eating meat. The primal way of eating - with mainly meat and vegetables, no grains or dairy, is easier but I'm not sure it agrees with me either. Eating a purely raw diet sounds and looks wonderful to me, and if I lived in the tropics I think this could easily become a way of life. But here, with Northern European temperatures I need substantial hot food for a lot of the year.

So, as a regular reader of Leo Babatua's website 'zen habits', I am inspired to take up his invitation to join the 7 day vegan challenge. I am going to try out some of the meals suggested and keep easy snacks around like fruit and nuts just in case. I like the idea of eating in such a simple way - I mean instead of 21 different dishes each week, with many ingredients in each dish - you eat the same thing twice a day or a few times a week. I seem to spend so much of my time thinking about, shopping for, and preparing food for me and the children, it's driving me a little crazy. I won't, of course, be insisting my children follow this challenge though they may try a few meals.

Ethically I have always wanted to be a vegan or at the very least a vegetarian, but thought myself either too lazy to be able to stick to healthy options, or not entirely convinced that it was the healthiest way to live. I have since come to know of many vegans who seem to be very healthy indeed, so I am going to give this challenge a try and see how it goes.

Here are some meal options/ideas for the vegan challenge which I may add to as I think of more:

Breakfasts

• Oatmeal - with any of these options: almond, soy milk or other non-dairy alternative, sliced bananas, apricots, nuts, seeds, flaxseed, chopped dried fruit, dates, fresh fruit
• Smoothie - Any mixture of fresh fruit and vegetables, flaxseed, non-dairy milk or soy yoghurt
• Fresh fruit or dried fruit compote
• Toast - with baked beans, sliced tomatoes, mushrooms, scrambled tofu
• Toast - with marmalade, jam, peanut or almond butter
• Baked banana with a little peanut butter and non-dairy milk, sprinkled with coconut or other chopped nuts
• Breakfast cookies - an excellent recipe which includes dried fruit, grated carrot, oats, brown sugar, flour, olive oil and dates
• Soy yoghurt with blueberries and almonds
• Cinnamon toast with warm cooked blueberries and soy yoghurt
• Granola or muesli with non-dairy milk and any additions you fancy - grated apple/pear, nuts, grated orange or lemon zest, almonds, fresh fruit

Lunch or Dinner

• Vegetable chilli - made with vegetables or a meat substitute with rice or bread
• Soup - there are so many delicious vegan soup recipes - or make up your own
• Curried leek and squash gratin with couscous
• Spaghetti with a meat free bolognese sauce
• Pasta with pesto and fresh bread, or baked cherry tomatoes, olives, olive oil, garlic and basil
• Homemade pizza - without the cheese
• Roasted peppers - stuffed with couscous, or pesto and a sprinkle of pine nuts or...
• A platter with a selection from: avocado, couscous, raspberries, olives, preserved artichokes, sun-dried tomatoes, chutney, dolmades, fresh bread, olive oil dressing, and salad vegetables or fruit
• Fajitas - using vegetables or meat substitute or tofu in a spicy chilli sauce
• Vegetable curry
• Salad - Any combination of salad vegetables, also could add fruit, capers, olives, baked potato, boiled new potatoes with mint, baked vegetables, sweet potato, veggie burger
• Veggie, lentil or bean-burger in a bun with salad and sweet potato fries and coleslaw
• Roasted chopped vegetables - Choice of potatoes,  tomatoes, onion, courgette, pepper, red onion, carrot, squash, mushroom, radish, beetroot, broccoli - all sprinkled with rosemary and olive oil before baking and served with salsa or guacamole
• Paella - with mushrooms, brown rice, pineapple, tomato puree, sultanas, pepper and chopped nuts
• Risotto - with onion, brown rice, yeast extract, herbs, mushrooms, chopped pepper and spinach
• lentil hotpot
• Cauliflower - sprinkled with olive oil and curry powder - roasted and served with fresh bread and salsa
• Ratatouille
• Vegetable kebabs with a spicy dip and couscous or brown rice
• Moroccan vegetable tagine with couscous

Snacks

• Apple and a handful of almonds or other nuts
• Homemade granola bars
• Bananas or other dried or fresh fruit
• Smoothie
• Raw vegetables and hummus or guacamole
• Bread, olives etc
• Strawberries dipped in green and blacks chocolate
• Toast with peanut butter
• Rice crackers with guacamole or jam
• Homemade vegan muffins
• Popcorn
• Banana bread
• Vegan cookies or other baked temptations
• Coconut, raspberry, lemon or other sorbet
• Cereal and non-dairy milk
• Super food energy bars
• Fruit crumble with non-dairy ice-cream
• Bubble and squeak with homemade bbq sauce
• Vegetable stir fry with ginger etc.

Sketchbook

Whenever we walk through the village, which is most days, we invariably come home with pockets of treasures. A tiny broken blue eggshell, feathers, acorns, hazelnuts, a dead bumblebee, a puff of lambswool found caught on the brambles or sprigs of berries and all kinds of leaves.

I want to get into the habit of drawing and painting these curious things. Every single leaf is different - it is not the same as drawing 'oak leaves' or 'sycamore leaves' - it is a very particular oak or sycamore leaf, and it is like no other. 

Here is the ivy leaf I painted, now turning much browner than it was...

On Writing

Writing is communication. What does your writing communicate about you?

When the words stick in my throat, when I don’t have anything to say… I start with NOW. What can I say about this moment in time? It’s past midnight, I write by lamp and candlelight. The candle flickers, sending shadows across the wall. A half full glass of water is on my bedside table, along with a pencil sharpener, pencils and a handmade bookmark made by my daughter. The bookmark has a drawing of a flower being watered with a watering can, and the words ‘to mummy with love’ – with lots of kisses, 12 to be exact.

My throat is still tense with anxiety, the urge to write is so strong, yet I feel that all that emerges is a poor excuse for communication.

What is it that I wish to communicate and how do I do it?

                                                                                                       

So many writing manuals state that just to ‘show up at the page’ is the most important thing. Well, here I am having read them for years, having shown up at the page, well, almost every day, still puzzled and confused. What is the point of writing if I don’t know what I have to say?

According to Anne Lamott ‘Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts’ well, that makes me feel a little better. But, then I hear that voice in my head again – ‘she doesn’t mean YOU, of course, you’re always going to have nothing to say’ and so the struggle goes on.

Like most writers, I imagine, especially beginners, we take our work and ourselves far too seriously.  Writing is a serious business – and we do so want to be taken seriously.  But, when it matters so much the words cannot flow freely, they get stuck, we wobble and berate ourselves in frustration. Here is a favourite paragraph from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird that I return to when the words refuse to come:

Say to yourself in the kindest possible way, Look, honey, all we’re going to do for now is to write a description of the river at sunrise, or the young child swimming in the pool at the club, or the first time the man sees the woman he will marry. That is all we are going to do for now. We are just going to take this bird by bird. But we are going to finish this one short assignment.[1]

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[1] Lamott, Anne (1994) Bird by Bird, Pantheon Books, New York